About frustration and how to control it

*This isn't necessarily going to be about school or work frustration, but rather about frustration from "everyday life". In this post, I'll touch on the ability to control emotions with emphasis on keeping calm when things aren't going your way.

So let's start with what got me thinking about frustration..

Recently, I’ve been challenged by “life” in a very insignificant but irritating way. I want to clarify that it wasn't a real inconvenience, just something that didn't go "as planned" that made me think about frustration as a state of emotion and how to do stuff while feeling it.

It bothered me because I'd like to say that I'm able to control my emotions pretty well, however, I don't like when I'm not in control of what I'm doing or (even more) in control of how I spend my time. That's something that has always been a source of dissatisfaction for me. And even though moments when those situations occur aren't often, they tend to throw me off almost every time (depending on the intensity).

Examples of almost all of those cases are when you plan your one free afternoon and your parents ask you to do something for them, or when you want to do a chore and someone asks you to do it, or when you're having a bad day and all you want is that specific food (a leftover of your favorite pizza or the last cupcake that your grandma baked you) that you know is at home but then you see someone has eaten it.

All these situations are so irrelevant when you look at the big picture, it's insane that they even bother us. However, they do, and the all there's left to do is learn how to cope in those situations.

Therefore, I made a list of five things for you and I to keep in mind for the next time we're feeling irritated or frustrated "with life" while on our self-improvement journey!
1. no progress is linear (be proud of yourself)
2. validate your emotions, but don’t let them rule you
3. step back if possible and do something for yourself (this can be anything from chilling to going to the gym)
4. make the best out of the situation
5. at the end of the day, it’s all about perception


1. no progress is linear (be proud of yourself)
There are those certain days, or moments when it seems like someone is trying to challenge your inner peace and calm attitude a bit more than normal. The thing is, if you are on a self-development journey, and if you’re working on your mind, body, and soul, and you're making an effort to be positive and see the good in everything, but there are still moments that are throwing you off track - that's okay!! It’s normal. No one’s progress is linear and it’s completely normal to feel out of control sometimes, whether it’s regarding yourself or the outer situations that you have no control over. You have to remind yourself that you are making an effort and that some days it’s going to feel easier, while on some other days, life is going to give you an extra challenge to strengthen you and maybe show you areas that still need work!

2. validate your emotions, but don’t let them rule you
If you're feeling irritated and frustrated for “no reason” or for the reason that's not worth getting upset over, try to become aware of the fact that, at this moment, you feel the way you do and your feelings are valid. Don't just get into a defensive mode against yourself. Validate your emotions and accept them. Don’t give them the power to rule you, but don’t ignore them completely either. Don't treat it as if "this is not supposed to be happening". You're only going to get more upset. It’s tough sometimes, finding balance and not letting your mood affect your behavior towards yourself or others, however, once you master that - nobody and nothing will be able to throw you off. Now that's power!

3. step back if possible and do something for yourself (this can be anything from chilling, working on your projects, taking a shower or hitting the gym)
In these situations, taking a step back is also a good idea. If you're not at the point where you can control your emotions, taking a step back and spending some time alone to think about what was the cue for your change in attitude might also help. You get a chance to calm yourself down, while others don't become a victim of your dissatisfaction. I understand, however, that we don't always have a chance to "leave", and so in those situations try keeping your attention on yourself and not reacting with others as much, at least until you're feeling emotionally stable enough to carry on.

Try doing what's best for you, but also others because sometimes we tend to project our dissatisfaction onto people around us and we're not here for that. If none of that works out smoothly, you can always let other people know what's bothering you and they can either help you get over it, or if nothing else, understand your change in behavior better. I believe that communication in these cases is highly important since you don't want to accidentally hurt anyone or blame your dissatisfaction on them because that will only push them away.

4. make the best of the situation
Now in the case where you're stuck and aren't in control whatsoever, the best thing to do is to try to focus on the positives and try to look at the situation from the best possible POV. You know this situation is going to last only for a moment or a part of the day, and you just have to push through. Try to find the reason to why it's not as bad as you think it is, and if that doesn't work, try keeping in mind that it is what it is and it's temporary! It will pass sooner than you think.

5. at the end of the day, it’s all about perception
This one is connected to number three because at the end of the day, you have to remind yourself of all the good in your day and if you feel like there hasn’t been much of it, remind yourself that everything happens for a reason and that your one day "out of balance" isn’t messing up your "life". Nothing can, in fact, just mess up your life (even if you often feel like you aren't sure what you're supposed to do, or if you think you have so much yet to "fix" regarding yourself). You are in control. It's your choice, always. Reflect on the good, remind yourself that you're doing the best that you can and don't drag one emotional response more than necessary!

That's it! Hope you found something useful. If you have any tricks on how to snap out of this type of state of mind feel free to let me know via email or message on social media (listed below).

PS. I've been going for sunset walks this past week so I decided to put a pretty sunset photo as a cover.. It's also like a reality-check about what really matters and how insignificant these little "issues" in our lives are. When you take a step back, go for a walk, your brain presses the reset button and reconstructs some thoughts. Many "issues" get solved by itself and you realize that life really doesn't have to be that hard. In most scenarios we're the ones making it overly difficult to deal with. That's a story for another post though. Thank you for reading and see you next Sunday!